THIS POST WAS WRITTEN BY A GUEST BLOGGER - THE VIEWS AND OPINIONS BELOW DO NOT REFLECT THE VIEWS AND OPINIONS OF QUIYK LLC.
Think of a world without snitches in Quidditch.
Think really hard.
Well, at the very least, it means that Harry Potter’s career in the sport is probably far shorter.
However, this is not J.K. Rowling’s Quidditch anymore. Which, of course, is why our game, sport or whatever you call it needs a desperate facelift. I, myself, have envisioned a sport without snitches and I will be the first to tell you that it’s perfect.
Imagine it; go on, don’t be scared—do it. If you see what I see, you’ll see a sport that takes away the grab bag element of an unpredictable and unfair snitch. If there are two evenly matched teams playing a game, make no mistake: it will come down to a snitch grab. When was your last snitch grab without the controversy that followed? Every team, I’d guess, has been on either end of the spectrum—fuming over a loss that didn’t quite sit well. I know I’ve had my fair share of games, however, where I knew we got lucky.
We didn’t deserve to win, but we did. But that’s Quidditch, right? But that’s every sport, no? The best team doesn’t always win, silly. If the best team always won, why even play the game? Unfortunately, it means, more often than not, that game comes down to a simple coin flip. Heads, I win. Tails, you lose.
We all lose.
The fact of the matter is such: the snitch is holding our sport back in so many particular ways that Roger Goodell would have outlandishly and outrageously banned it years ago. People love the organized chaos that occurs when the snitch comes back to the pitch, when, in reality, it leads to sloppy Quidditch. Snitches lead to pitfalls of unhappiness and bitter hard feelings. It leads to concussions, double concussions and more headaches than smiles.
Name another legitimate sport in which there is a supposed human element involved that is unbiased and fair at all costs. Well, to be honest, every sport has it, that is undeniable.
But that is because they are the referees.
To me, what irks me the most is that the outcome of the game directly comes down to the snitch. Is he paying attention? Is he being too flashy? Is he being fair?
At a game last weekend at the Northeast Fantasy Tournament, there was a controversial snitch grab in which a seeker pulled the ball from behind and instead of coming out cleanly, it got re-attached to the snitches uniform on the side. During which, the snitch has fallen and was now lying on his back, down. Needless to say, our team, on the wrong end of a tough call (even though it ended up being the right one), needed an explanation. And when the snitch ref said he wasn’t sure if the call was good, the snitch ran up into my co-captain’s face at a distance only separated by mere centimeters between their noses and yelled: “I’m a certified ref, I know what I’m doing, get out of my face.”
Is this really the presence we want deciding games? What if this happened on a bigger scale, like at the World Cup? What if it was in an elimination game? It just doesn’t sit right with me. It shouldn’t sit right with anyone.
I know that J..K. Rowling’s Quidditch would have a fit if we changed the rules, but (as Dan Hanson, and many others, have pointed out: her snitch was worth 150 and effectively eliminated the need for any other position in Quidditch) we have adopted a new game. We are a different Quidditch.
So here’s what we should do about it.
There are two solutions, both of which I would be relatively satisfied with.
Snitches should be worth 25 points. This argument has been done to death, so I will leave it at that.
The other, of course, is the elimination of the snitch entirely.
Let’s have halves and timeouts. Let’s allow for strategy to have a legitimate place in the game instead of during the five-minute warm-up you have before the game starts. Once it does, communication and tweaking almost always goes out the window. Timeouts would have a glorious spot in Quidditch, that is almost undeniable. You take away the unpredictably annoying aspect of the snitch and put the entire control of the game in the hands of the players who are actually competing. Wouldn’t that be something else?
I’m sure this will be an unpopular opinion, but I will always stick by it. If we want to be taken seriously, if we want to be considered a real sport, then we need to change the one aspect of it that isn’t found in any other sport. People will say that this is what makes our sport unique, but it also isn’t found in any other sport because it doesn’t make sense. Their sport wasn’t created out of fiction. Their sport understands that this doesn’t equal a fair sport that always creates favorable results.
It’s time to change the game, because our game deserves it.
Although, I don’t think it will ever happen, so I will continue playing the game I love and dreaming of a sport that could be so much better than it is.
Until then, I’ll be daydreaming.
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